the final release for the two singles I dropped last year. Mixed, mastered & produced by me. Featuring DJ M.C, UNCLE XAV, & SCONE.XM. This project has been a while in the making, it is about my brother who died June 30th, 2024, and finding out a week before that that he sexually abused me when I was a baby. This is what my brain has largely been like for the coming up on two years of life without him. I'm confused, I often feel one way, and then the complete opposite all in a few minutes. I have hatred for him, just as much as I have love. This project is for my own sanity and loneliness during arguably the worst time in my fucking life. It is also about how my multiple suicide attempts in the past yr have felt to me, the closer I was to death the more blissful I felt. I have jealousy for my dead brother being dead. So here is what I have left to say.

The production is live hardware, I have been interested in control voltage for the past two years. I used an electribe, werkstatt, behringer edge, subharmonicon, TEAC A-234OR (reel to reel for cassette loops), minilogue XD, volca drum, digitakt ( not much on this one , I just got it ), midi keyboard for digital patching & synthesis, a friends tr8s, a Yamaha QY10 running through distortion pedal. Probably a couple other things I cant think of off the top of my head. Mixed & mastered w/ Ableton & Bitwig. . I really tried to include everything that I can do, sound designing melodies, modulating, hard ass drums, with an extremely depressing motif about me seeing my brother in the after life, and what exactly I might do. There aren't many words on this project, it is mainly the instrumentation that is intended to guide you into my world. Blah blah blah stupid shit. Originally I was intending this to be my last album, but I don't think that shit is good enough to be my last.