Do you have any specific examples of these mental images that arise when you are working on a track?
It’s not something that happens every time, but if I get in a very particular mood it just shows up, kind of like an open tab. It’s like when you go from a crowded space to suddenly being alone and the sense of people being around you persists. The feeling is just hanging there … It’s like that but with spaces. Often the sense of space in the track ends up matching the properties of the mental space, so I’m interested in how those processes of translation color the work—going from hearing a sound to seeing an image and then letting that image influence the sound. But when the music is done, I am not evaluating it based on how well I have translated that image into sound, I just try to focus on following whatever seems most interesting at the moment.
Have you seen your music develop and change over the past decade?
The first music I made alone was jumpstyle and hardstyle in Fruity Loops. I was a teenager at the time and all of my friends were into scooters and cars, and that was the music that was playing in the cars and the parties we went to. I remember feeling really curious about how it was all done, but I didn’t manage to figure out much on my own at the time and I didn’t know anyone who did either. After spending a few years in music school playing bass I became bored with playing songs from The Real Book and becoming increasingly frustrated with the compromises that are necessary in band settings. I was so relieved when I realized I could do it all myself on a computer. Like with most artmaking, it takes practice to close the gap between taste and technique, so in the beginning I just spent a lot of time imitating the music I liked. I had a teacher in music school who always used to say that the instrument was an obstacle to overcome, something to master to gain the full ability to express yourself. I completely disagree with that sentiment now, but at the time it was a powerful feeling to be good at something, so I spent a lot of time trying to learn all the features of the Ableton Live and the VSTs I was using. That eventually led me to explore Max for Live as I wanted features like probabilistic MIDI and certain styles of sequencing. For a long time I found the MSP side of Max a bit scary, but when I just started hacking synths together by taking a filter from one synth, an oscillator from another synth and then building from there I could at least use listening to guide my choices.
Researching how people make digital sounds and spending a lot of time on the Max forum, I started to learn about computer music and got into making that kind of stuff for a while. By that time, I was in art school, and I had spent most of my time there working with generative video, but decided that for my final I wanted to use the techniques I learned making generative video to make a sound performance purely in Max—mostly just to learn. At the same time, I was also making music as part of Code Walk and that felt like two separate worlds. Writing my own music has been a process of merging my interest in sound art with my early influences from hardstyle and dance music.
I still like to do performances that are meant for more of a gallery setting where I can go deeper into texture and not worry so much about structure. That’s often where I create the basis for the sounds that I use to write more functional music later on. When coming up with sounds, a good starting point for me is to think about where EDM and computer music overlap.
Lens is the first release I finished as a solo artist, so the process was mostly about not collaborating. After working very closely with my musical partner in the duo Code Walk for years I had kind of internalized the musical boundaries that were our common taste. I learned so much from that process about what I like and why because when you have to explain it to someone else, you have to understand it first. A few years ago, Code Walk ended and I still wanted to make music, so I started to try to find out what it would sound like to make my own stuff. It was really hard at first, because I would get to a point where a track would be half done, and that would be the point where I would usually send it off to get some kind of confirmation if it was worth finishing, or what parts of it needed work.
I realized that I didn’t really know how to evaluate the music that I was making and I basically decided to stop focusing on that and just focus on whether I was having fun in the process of making it. That made me completely get rid of all of my outboard gear, because I found the process of recording tedious. I also dropped my studio because I didn’t like being there. It felt too much like work.
As you can hear, in the beginning it was just a process of not doing what I didn’t like, as I was doing a lot of stuff for reasons that didn’t really make sense anymore. Like running some drums through analog processing gives it a certain sound, but if I am not enjoying the process, why make that kind of music? So I ended up reducing my setup to a laptop and bought some expensive headphones after selling my gear. I have never really tried having a setup with speakers in a well calibrated room, so music listening and making have almost purely happened on headphones for me. There’s something intimate about that kind of listening that just makes it easier for me to concentrate. My friends usually complain about tired ears when working on headphones, but I have just placed my volume control out of reach, so I don’t turn it up, and that way my ears don’t get tired too quickly. It also works out well when I want to go somewhere else to work as the setup is pretty portable.