How do you approach live performance?
Well, if I’m honest, historically I don’t love performing. I don’t really understand the situation when I’m on stage. I just want to ask everyone in the audience why we’re there, talk to them. I feel very weird about the exceptionality of being in front of people, claiming for their attention, the unidirectionality of it all. I do love attention, but the situation is somehow dictatorial, a bit violent. And I haven’t developed a dissociated personality for shows so It’s just me, having a hard time.
For this record, I decided I’m doing things I like even less than performing while I perform, so I get to be rightfully uncomfortable. You know, if I’m suffering I want to get the most of it, do it on purpose. New instruments I don’t fully master, blindfolded singing, eating fruit, writing my diary in front of everyone … Those are some ideas.
Could you talk a bit about the visuals that are connected to these new songs?
Yes. I really want to answer this question. I got to work with who might be my favorite visual artist in the world, Molly Soda. I’ve grown seeing her online, surrounded by images she’s done or curated. I feel like she relates to images and the internet the way I connect with music—as if it was inevitable. It just felt right to ask her to meet me offline to create all these images to be paired with the tracks. It’s been a whole exercise of knowing each other in some kind of speed_dating_image_making in New York.
There’s this obsession in my writing about feeling I’m the exact amount of different from other girls to firmly believe I need to make music—this feeling of uniqueness or whatever motivates my will to write—and also feeling that I am the exact amount of similar to other girls to believe I can be fully understood by them. I feel like that with Molly Soda’s presence and performance on the internet. She’s literally one of a kind, she kind of invented a whole thing, a whole language, but at the same her production is valuable and relevant because it feels like it would have happened anyway, with or without her. I don’t know if I’m explaining myself right. I hope so. She just has the kind of taste that molds others’ visual education. I’m so lucky she listened to the record and wanted to do this with me. I admire her so much, I really needed someone like her around.
You started playing the guitar at a young age, but at what point did you start writing your own songs? Can you remember the first song you wrote?
I started writing kind of late. I had always loved music and writing as two separate things. In my mind there was this huge gap between being able to play instruments/read music and creating it. I had never even thought about giving it a try. It felt like a huge event. One day I had a fever and I was at my parents’. I was 19 I think. I was so bored and weak and desperate to get out of bed. It was so dramatic that I took my guitar and started to hallucinate on purpose. I was so sick I didn’t feel any responsibility for my thoughts. I wrote a song called “Contéstame a La Historia,” that talks about provoking someone to slide in your DMs on Instagram just by posting. Stupid, but the right amount of stupid to let myself go for it for the first time.