It's 1pm on Halloween. You're trying to buy candy but the pharmacy has hastily updated the aisle for new, upgraded, recklessly sentimental auras of seasonal purchasing power. Decades of end-of-year tradition suddenly careen a smudge tool across your brain and everything reeks of a red and green independent of time or space, past or present. Only a small handful of dominoes fall between a medieval crusader returning home with a satchel full of cloves and you, present day at this year's work party, taking a maximum four sips of a limited edition seasonal microbrew. New season, new world, yet again.

Sing along to that classic carol or jingle that you simultaneously cannot remember or forget.

Check your phone for cherished memories.

Scroll through a list of videos that feature wood burning and finally settle on the one that definitely has the highest definition.

Start a drop shipping hustle that targets mistletoe nootropics to anyone who searches what day of the week new years is falling on.

Does it still snow in this part of the world anymore?? Nogmaxxed Kringle accelerationists will assure you it does.

After all this, can you even be sure of the true meaning of winter break anymore? Don't worry, we've built this language model to teach you how to teach your body to accept more cheer; everything stocked, stuffed, and hung into one 23 minute long sonic latke. Join the celebration and feel every holiday you've ever experienced all at once.