lovestruck humbug

cuddling in a kundle

hug crushes

tongues stunk

mud lungs

hunkered gums

wondering cherub bunkered in a bungalow

robbed of holly

sorry that i barely call you

i needed to be subdued

i’ve been imbued by fall hues

autumn blues stretched to february

and i’m wondering what the news used to be

worn down by shorn tears

predictive searches break me down

this routine breaks me down

i’ve missed magic

we smell sour when we cry

balmy cheeks pressed against chests

tearstained and soulcrushed

can’t imagine what it would be like 

to be there again

eyes closed hoping this half tab takes me

seeing what i saw when i was asleep that night

imagined desires

blue moss

gumdrops and metal gum floss

pink water and your lips, naturally

speaking in our own tongue

our friends left befuddled

softness often felt funny 

but seemed somber 

once the nonsense was washed off

you showed me the sky

we shared so many clouds

things that belong to everyone

belonged to us

to be young

functioning under auspices of nothing

unctuous bloodsport

no use in crying

a sickness like none other

now here’s your host

im caught in cobwebs

cotton balls in my cheeks

i reek of the rotten stench of belonging

pain found its new home

sulking sideways on sepulveda

los angeles is my nightmare

my plants are dying but so am i

what was it like to be alive

the smell of spit rubbed into skin

peeling callouses from palms

bright red blood emanating from fresh scars

there are two things i hate more than myself

one is capitalism

the other myself

sorry i was lying

invest in community

unionize your emotions and

save my name in your goddamn phone

i didnt ask for this

i asked for a hand and

you gave me a round of applause

im the specimen

im the scab you keep picking

im the ingrown hair on your neck

im the new pimple you just found

im the gunk under your fingernails

im the stone in your shoe

im the metallic taste in your mouth

im the burning sensation in your loins

im the hardest part of your favorite song

im the softest promise you keep breaking 

im the worst part of your morning 

im the reason you wake up tired

im the reason you need to be around people

im the reason you hate the sun

i am the sun

two hearts

two cruises

feeling stupid

pulling useless cards

meandering plans

chances on a grand piano

glass chips

sunkissed

being told to do what to do

feeling as if your entire existence is wrong

arguing with yourself

having to convince yourself

trying to prove that you’re right

being okay with the fact that you’re never

im gonna give this another go at it

dont mind me

just collecting empties