by 40, i knew i— & the world—would cycle forever. my disorder(ed state) suffocate(s/d) me & i swerve(d) toward death, god, that's all i want(ed), once, you—also sinking—pinged me a video: for all 43 minutes i watched a man restore a painting larger than himself. everything will be fucked forever/a time of peace always comes again by eugenia leigh